Xmas quotes??? anybody??

[Mugwump]

http://uproxx.com/movies/2014/12/christmas-vacation-lines/

You know that metal plate in my head? I had to have it replaced, cause every time Catherine revved up the microwave I?d piss my pants and
forget who I was for a half hour or so.
'National Lampoon Xmas...yada yada....

[PaulineMi]

CHRISTMAS IS CANCELED   Apparently you told Santa you were good this year. He died laughing.

[Mugwump]

"The Supreme Court has ruled that they cannot have a nativity scene in
Washington, D.C. This wasn't for any religious reasons. They couldn't find
three wise men and a virgin." -- Jay Leno


"This past Christmas, I told my girlfriend for months in advance that all I
wanted was an Xbox. That's it. Beginning and end of list, Xbox. You know
what she got me? A homemade frame with a picture of us from our first date
together. Which was fine. Because I got her an Xbox." -- Anthony Jeselnik


"I bought my brother some gift-wrap for Christmas. I took it to the Gift
Wrap department and told them to wrap it, but in a different print so he
would know when to stop unwrapping." --Steven Wright

[Rjb3]

"The main reason Santa is so jolly is because he knows where all the bad girls live."

               - George Carlin

[Mugwump]

"The main reason Santa is so jolly is because he knows where all the bad girls live."

               - George Carlin

[Rjb3]

Ain't that the truth. LOL