Earl awoke with a start, his fire was out....
His trail friends had gone to sleep, the warmth untended...
Having been a long time guide, he knew better..
however, on this trip up through the Tetons, he lapsed....
Some place in here I thought folks might chime in.... ;D...for grins, anyway.....
but the angels of mercy came to him to say
...here's some kindling and flint. Now get that fire going!
but for some reason the fire don't work under water
But Earl, being a mountain man, soon had it going...
With the fire going well, it was time to cook ;D
Soon bacon, from a slab, was sizzling away, smelling great!!
A hungry grizzly bear sniffed the air and headed there.
The enticing smell of bacon brought him fast and hungry
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But to our surprise he was happy with marshmallows instead
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toasted to perfection with graham and chocolate bars there was
Realizing the bear was distracted the guide and campers vamoosed.
But he saw them and charged after the whole group.
but with having such a full belly he couldn't run
So he whipped out his Rifle and shot the bear..
But he only grazed the bear's ear, which angered him.
Earl put the old bear down, no more warning shot
Now they had bear meat for a real good stew
As the men ate bear stew, a loud noise occurred.
Still being avalanche season, they knew what this noise was.
Glancing at the valley next to them, they saw it
This created an excitement amongst them, as they watched, amazed...
...seeing hundreds of tons of snow headed towards a train.
LOL...they thought, somebody's going to be in deep doo-doo
Especially since the train had two very important people aboard.
The logger Baron, and his cohort, enemies of the mountains..
Earl, a friend of the engineer, called him on his cell.
They conspired to have the brakeman release the logger's car.
The mountain was safe. The logger's car was snow covered.
But..the angels of mercy had other ideas
Hearty har har, they drank a toast to the bear
They secured the campsite and then built a warming fire
To warn stan of a master plan for the contraband
Stan, out taking a leak, away from the fireside.....stared
At the train and found the barron was set free
Then out popped a genie who granted him 3 wishes
Stan wished..put the baron back, cover the train again
His last wish....to get him back home in bed ;D
He woke from his dream covered in slime to find
He thought to himself to go to mugeumps to check
and he looked and looked and couldn't find the thread
So he blamed it on mugwump and all his many followers
Ah yes, the good Friar Wump and his band mates....
As he stood astonised with a look awe in his eyes
But Earl, having had a busy day, could not sleep
As the ghostly reminders of his dream kept haunting him
The little red wagon he never got for his birthday..(key suspenseful organ music)
It kept coming back to him...'no red wagon, son'
Speaking of little red wagons where did mine go to
Earl and the others began a plan to move on.
The Tetons provided plenty of places to explore and enjoy.
Swim said mama fishy swim as fast as you can
Quote from: P4Angels2 on August 05, 2013, 03:11:36 PM
Swim said mama fishy swim as fast as you can
??????????Earl and the gang, not being fish, are very confused
Earl and his group had fishing poles, spears and nets.
...they were approaching a beautiful pristine lake in the mountains.
A strange noise came from behind them. Was it Sasquatch?
Quote from: PaulineMi on August 05, 2013, 04:29:17 PM
A strange noise came from behind them. Was it Sasquatch?
LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOL......love it !!
shhhhh everyone get down and take cover we don't know
Naw., it was clumsy Amos, the 'rookie' guide, lost again...
Amos stumbled into camp with something large and foul smelling.
Amos smile with his toothless grim and says "gotta beer"
He plopped down a dead ground hog, two days old
Not having any beer, and wanting to clean Amos up..
They threw Amos in the creek, and buried the carcass
Amos, now cleaned up a bit, looked much,much better
Little did they know that the carcass attracted the wolves.
and oh how those wolves were starving and on the
prowl to find enough food to feed the entire pack
With one swift motion amos was surrounded, he gasped and
prepared for their attack. He scratched his head and began
Mugwump where are you he shouted wondering where he was
with his almighty super powers to save Amos's simple world
Just then a masked man appears with red suspenders and
Cubs hat and cup of hot coffee in his hand
His free hand raised high he asked what's the problem
Amos pointed directly at the wolf and mighty mugwump gasped
Mugwump then called for his ever ready assistant Cap't Bob
Feed them that special blend of scooby snack you make
That will drive them into a totally animalistic feeding freenzy
Cap't Bob used his jedi powers and fed them well
The wolves were full and left with out any complaints
Amos was amazed and asked where he got his powers
Cap't bob explained he learned his jedi knowledge from the
his training under the force master Sir Lord Angelfish USA
and Amos asked do I learn how to be a
Jedi like my father the great and powerful Master JDmcfast
Amos then turned full circle hungry looking for california worms
The good Friar Wump turned the page, and Amos had a torch
The others seeing the problem, started banging pots and pans
They backed away, the wolves started digging up their meal...
the mighty barb announced we should retire to her caves
only to find the oompa plecos had overtaken their caves
The oompa plecos took them to there powerful king Dennis
Arch rival and nemesis of sir Friar Wump. Wumps outrage
Crisis averted, they all set out for the back lakes..
These lakes contained something that they all wanted to see.
The things lived at the bottom of the deepest parts.
Earl the ever prepared guide gave everyone their scuba gear.
Amos said "I really don't want to dive. I'll wait."
Soon everyone figured out that Amos could not swim well
No matter tho, Amos could fish for some lunch now
The rest of the guys headed into the first lake.
They had lights, cameras and a whole lot of enthusiasm.
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Then they saw a movement that was reminiscent of Nessie!
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A relative of the Loch Ness monster in the Tetons.
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They decided to invite this creature to enjoy their dinner
He swam close by the shoreline to be near them
Amos the ever so gracious host offered the first escargot
He called the giant creature 'Puff', and they became friends
Puff said lets frolick in the land of Honah Lee.
They danced till the sun went down and back up
Tired from the days events, they all slept very well
As the morn'n sun rose, the band of friends awoke..
Grabbing their gear, they set off along the river bank
It was a beautiful sight all along the rivers edge
Stopping for a deserved lunch break at the river's bend
They basked in the warm sun's rays, awed at nature
A musty bit of bodily odors was wafting from them......
Oh how they missed their daily shot of canned humanizer.......
Ah but the odor was not from them, t'was Amos
Amos, not having been in the water, began to reek...
Taking their mess kits to the water, they washed them
Then filled them up in order to bathe stinky Amos
was none to happy with getting a cold water bath
Now clean, Amos told them about something he had seen.
It was moving slowly toward them in the tall grass
T'was an abandoned little female wolf pup, weak and hungry..
Earl wrapped the shaking little pup in his warm blanket
The group gathered, curious, the pup's mom must have died
Earl gave it a piece of cooked meat from breakfast
Amos gave it cool fresh water in a canteen cup
Everyone was happy as the little animal wagged it's tail.
They, all, decided to name her 'Molly of the Tetons',
Little Molly slept in Earl's arms, now full, and safe...
A low constant growling was coming from the dark trees...
The wolf pack had come to retrieve their lost pup....
A problem that no amount of happy spin will fix.....
This was a large pack of around 30 individual dogs.....
Amos exclaimed!!.. maybe you guys shoulda left me stanky stanks.
The alpha male was an enormous muscular animal, minimally 185.
Looking at him Earl whimpered questioningly, here Kitty Kitty...... Kitty?
Just then Puff raised high out of the water, roaring...
The pack backed off in fear of such a sight
The group, seizing burning branches from the fire, vanquished them...
Turning around, they all surrounded Puff with hugs and thanks ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D
Quote from: Mugwump on August 09, 2013, 03:48:01 PM
Just then Puff raised high out of the water, roaring...
HOORAY!!!!! ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D
But, now what to do with a baby wolf pup?
And what if the pack returned later in the dark?
Puff told them that he never sleeps and that he
would stay awake and take charge of keeping everyone safe
and warm while keeping the fire going so all slept
The game warden arrived with a ten man commando team
Everyone on the ground he commanded hands above your heads
Wolves are a federally protected species you are under arrest
But soon saw the pup and gave them a pass
It seems that these weren't the folks he wanted
Where is our wolf pup he demanded sternly, give it!!!!
Said the dumb deputy who didn't understand the situation well
Off to the holding pen on Alcatraz island went Earl
so they thought, it was a ruse to confuse the deputy
And so once again, they were all on their way.....
Every day scratching his little notch in the wall dreary dreary.
And now he had these conflicting thoughts as if free.
He envisioned himself on this journey with his old pals
In a dream state, removed from the harshness of reality
The guard at the gate he spoke to as Puff
It was the deputy's dream, not Earl's, he was free
The guard in the tower was now his friend Amos
The rat in his cell little Molly, sweet little Molly......
The delusions ran amok for the vrazy deputy now delirious
They can't take from man his dreams, so it persisted
got so bad, the deputy envisioned himself a story narrator
Poor Earl, lost between his reality and his inner conciousness,
Babbling tales of men talking to objects, with strange names...
Voices, voices, screamed Earl....The humanity Puff Molly Amos....Help!!!!!!!
but the voices were from the prison, the deputy berserk
So he happily walked with his friends in the mountains
leaving the entire episode behind him, just smiling and whistling
The birds were singing, the fish were jumping...life good
Molly was chasing a butterfly, and found a wooden chest
Looking inside it, they found a strange rolled up map
the old map had markings on it and a circled 'X'
Carved on the chest lid were the large initials JKL
Earl wondered, could this be 'Jacob' the lost prospectors chest?
Could this be the map location for the 'Lost Mine' ???
They gathered, excited, and Earl told of Jacob's gold fever
It was a tale from days gone by, not forgotten
The early miners, trappers, settlers lived a tough, hard life
The land had rich soil, plentiful game, and many minerals
The miners were a lonely lot, working long ,hard days
Most found little, but Jacob had been rumored to succeed
His mine was deep within the mountains, and valleys, beyond
He would venture down to the Barkley ranch for supplies
He befriended them, they helped him with his sick mule
The old mine was rumored to be the richest strike
Jacob worked it and buried all his earnings somewhere forgotten
The group was excited, could this be 'the' map to...???
...all the riches ?, what else was in that old chest
Six cans of really old spam with the seals broken
Amos liked Spam, so that stunk...something was under it...???
Good grief !! , it looks like an very old Elvis album
The Elvis album was still in it's original unmarred jacket.
Could this indicate that they'd be lucky with the map?
Earl and his excited group headed out, map in hand.
Earl thought about the album, the 'King' , was a clue?
They realized the map was leading them towards Graceland Mansion.
Somewhere between the Tetons and Tennessee was a golden treasure.
A copy of X Men number one lie before them...
Mint condition in a wrapper, never opened never even handled..........
The guard rattled the bars...time for shower dreaming dude
The ice cold water from the fire hose burned cold
He stared forward in his trance like state not moving
He dreamed of a grand meal....he ate bar soap....
Such were the writings of Jacob, from a journal page..
Earl and the group scanned the journal for missing clues
Whatever happened to Jacob? a mystery unsolved for many years
Therein lies the answer to where the lost mine is....
The map led them to the other side of a...
large whitewater river, up a high bank, and into a...
small cave that dated to long ago Indian inhabitants there.
They began to dig into the floor and back wall.
...a 3 legged, fork-tongued, lizard-lipped danglewart in heat!
finding nothing they looked deeper in the cave behind rocks
Moved a ton of rocks, behind the last, they saw...
an old, large clay pot sitting there amongst the rocks.
They peered inside it and saw it was filled with...
bones, and sitting on the top was a human skull!
so they decided that Earl and Amos would go investigate
In the cave, a 1932 three window Murray body Ford.
Left over from Jacob's very wild days as a youth
sadly a diver that was searching for the car got
stuck in the seatbelt and was trapped and sadly died
What a diver was doing in the desert, who knows??
But next to him was another map, what gives here ????
It has now become a treasure hunt for the lost lands
Earl pulled the old car from the cave with love
She had a 3 1/2" chop and 1 1/2" channel and section
Drilled Bones and a 392 Chrysler Hemi within her rails
Her body was clean and black smooth and unrusted, beautiful
A set of spokes on the front, pie crusts rear.
Was this the famous Car that ran Byron and Oswego
The car that out ran Garlitts in 1965, a 7.20?
Away from the outside elements, it was in excellent condition
If so she would be worth a fortune to collectors
..it still had gas in it, old gas, but gas
would it start?...how did it get here?..mystery time
While examining the car Puff sneezed a fire breathing sneeze.
Poof !!!!!!! Nothing but charred remains of the car were left.
The explosion blew open the back half of the cave.
Was that gold they saw in the side wall veins?
And who was the old skeleton in the clay jug?
It was Jacob, he had died in the gold mine.
Hikers had found his bones and put them into the...
...old Indian clay jug they saw in the rear cave.
They had no idea the cave was filled with gold!
Some of the gold was removed by one of them
The Old Ford began to change, Every item becoming new
The Mighty 392 Hemi roared to life flames lit skyward
The Old miners bones fleshed to life within the jug
The thousands of small animals remains in the cave, enlivened
The clay jug split and the miner emerged, unholy horrors
You have desecrated the ancient Mandan Peoples burial grounds, mortals......
The medicine man Bahtschetcrasee placed a curse upon this place
I think we should get into the car whispered Earl
I think it will get us out really freaky fast
Can I keep my gold said Amos, smiling like cattish
Meanwhile back at the cave, another hidden passage was uncovered
Grabbing their flashlights, and torches, they slowly entered the opening
Strewn around the corridor were miners clothes and some tools
This had to be the main entrance to Jacob's mine
After all the diversions, and silly gimmicks they'd encountered enroute
They have entered a place still set in it's past
Old tools, canned food, furnishings, and many very old documents
The miner's heirlooms were a treasure unto it's self...priceless
And like many a lonely miner, he hoarded his possessions...
...until one day, his whole life changed in a flash!
He had died in the cave when a pack of...
wolves had entered to spend the winter, and one had
rabies and bit the old miner when he tried scaring
them away from his gold filled cave and he died.
Could this be the end of the Tale of Earl????????
But with all the gold in the cave, where is.....?
The mother lode?....surely it had to be near there...???
They ventured deeper into the bowels of the dark cave.
Lo and behold they came across an old frail miner
A strange recluse who was the the dead miner's son.
Could this odd man hold the secrets of the cave?
Earl and his crew will try to gain his trust.
They offered him jerky, hard tack and some dried corn.
He hungrily ate the food then scurried into the darkness.
Earl and crew followed, deeper and deeper into the darkness.
Suddenly Earl threw up his hand, stopped suddenly and gasped...!
Since it was dark and no one could see him
stop, the crew plowed into Earl one at a time!
What a mess. They all thought they had been attacked.
Everyone began screaming, flailing in the dark, fearing ultimate death!
They fell to the floor of the cave....BAT GUANO!!!!!
Now a decision ..... turn back or trudge on all smelly.
Thoughts of gold couldn't keep smelly men from going forward.
They hoped to keep following Jacob's strange son on ahead.
Jacob's gold cave was dug very deep into the mountainside.
Trudging forward, they began to get sick; one atta time.
Bat guano is not good to leave on the skin.
Earl whipped out his medical book from his hip pocket,
and looked up the risk of guano-to-skin contact.
Not a good prognosis. They needed a gold dust antidote.
Now they must trudge faster into the eternal cave darkness.
Suddenly they noticed what appeared to be a flickering light.
The light approached....it was Tinkerbell with golden fairy dust.
Poof! They were clean, healed and Tinkerbell led them forward.
They kept going deeper into the cave, flashlights still burning.
The delicious smell of roasting meat soon met their noses.
Suddenly they came upon Jacob Jr. next to a fire.
Upon a spit was a hunk of deer meat, roasting.
They were famished, tired, and thirsty..looking around the cave
Earl spotted a bubbling underground stream, the cool water enticing
They all settled in around the warm fire and ate...
As they ate, Jacob jr started a tale of how it...
..came to pass, Jacob's discovery of the cave, vein, and..
...this secluded cavern well nestled well below the earth's surface....
His father Jacob, and Indian mother had lived here in...
the front part of the cave, not knowing what hid
in the depths until years later when Jacob started exploring.
Besides the cavern that they were in...there were others..
Deep beneath the earth was a wonderland of beautiful sights
all kinds of glittery sparkles filled the walls ceiling and floor
As the group heard all about these rooms..they knew
That they must go deeper into the passages to explore....
so bringing pic axes shovels and buckets and head lamps
They decided to divide up into groups to explore different
parts of the cave, Earl and Amos were sent together
was rather fun listening to Amos and Earl singing together
The group soon lost sight of each other as they...
went their separate way....anxiously, and cautiously... they crept along...
Earl and Amos, with Molly on a rope, heard water
They headed in the direction of the watery sounding noise.
As they entered the cavern where they heard the noise...
They were awed....it was like the 'Garden of Eden'..stunning...
There was sunshine light, but not from the hidden sky..
It seemed as if the whole scene just glowed brightly...
Had Jacob really found Utopia, Atlantis ?? What is this place?
What was glowing brightly in the light of their flashlights...
...phosphorescent rock filled with veins of gold and colorful gems!
An underground river was washing through this cavern of riches.
Plants and vegetation everywhere, what a wondrous place this was...
Earl, Amos and Molly were amazed. The gold and gems...
were calling to them for closer inspection and possible collection.
Earl wondered if they should get out the pick ax.
But thinking better of it, at the moment...he stopped
Perhaps it would be better to learn about the place
Surely all it's wonders had a wonderful story to tell
What were the odd wall markings and drawings all about?
looks like drawings from others that visited back before words
were created and people could actually talk to each other
While peering at cave drawings from thousands of years ago,
a distant rumble began to fill the cavern around them.
As the ground began to shake under their feet,
pieces of the gold filled walls began to crumble away.
suddenly the outlines of ancient dwellings appeared along the wall
The gold was hiding an ancient culture from long ago...
..But the old miner must have known about this too
As the dust began to clear, they saw villagers shadows...
They were moving towards them from behind the cloudy air
It looked like they were carrying baskets and some bundles......????
What was happening??..how could this be??..who are they ???
oh my look its a bunch of mini wumps helping
There were people living deep inside the cave behind walls...
of gold and gems. They had access to the outside,
from the other side of the mountain, across the ridgeline.
This ancient, but unknown community were distant ancestors of Jacob.
Outside the cave, a line of big trucks were coming.
Where were they headed?..the cave was unknown til now
Things are getting blurred for Earl and the gang....crazy
Somehow word had gotten out about the cave of gold.
Trucks were bringing men, equipment and lots of gold fever!
Strange, they were all together, who could have possibly told ???
Nobody noticed that Amos had snuck out to call people
Promising to share in all of the riches that were
Earl, Amos and the others talked about the new situation.
Should they tell the coming miners where to look in
exchange for part of the gold and gems to come?
or lead them astray with a ruse?.time's running out....
Earl and Amos ran down to meet the coming trucks.
A huge man jumped out of the lead truck and
stared at these two crazy looking guys with long beards,
who had a wolf puppy on a rope with them.
The made up a story about the mine being unsafe...
The told them it was highly radioactive..truly dangerous for sure
but if the new group would be patient...there's a way
they explained that the Indians living in there, below ground
would fill there trucks full, as Amos had figured out
their primitive language and made good friends with them all
the newcomers all agreed, they were now afraid to enter
the mine, the native folks, the treasures, were all safe
Soon the trucks were full, the newcomers sworn to secrecy
they knew if anyone wanted more gold, they remain quiet...
the new friends now were secure for life, and grateful
and so as out tale comes to an end....ponder
what would you do with all that wonderful loot???
Hmmmm, I bought powerball tickets recently, tried for 400 million
If I had won, would have paid all debts off
kept enough for my husband and I to live well
for the rest of our lives, then given the rest away.
Would do the same thing with a lot of gold!
Except I would make a very nice gold necklace for myself
LOL...we should have had them load are cars/trucks too.... ;D
Earl and crew, not knowing any better, decided to head on down to NADA for the show...
...Earl packed some loot for expenses, and they left pronto.....
Earls has always been one to follow his instincts. At the last minute his heart told him to go so he had no choice
Quote from: LizStreithorst on June 09, 2014, 07:16:29 PM
Earls has always been one to follow his instincts. At the last minute his heart told him to go so he had no choice
;D......just ten words can be used to explain his trip....
With untold riches in gold, Earl and Amos started out.
..with a broken GPS, and a bunch of old maps....
..off they went, even not knowing from where that was.... ;D
Between the mountains and Texas is a lot of territory.
..but good grief, from what mountains were they coming from ..?
They are setting out from the Grand Tetons in Wyoming.
They are riding a Harley, wolf pup strapped on well.
Quote from: Barb on June 10, 2014, 03:13:47 PM
They are riding a Harley, wolf pup strapped on well.
Thank heavens for side cars, they've stowed gear and provisions..
Gear, provisions, men, wolf pup and bags of gold nuggets.
Quote from: Barb on June 10, 2014, 03:45:08 PM
Gear, provisions, men, wolf pup and bags of gold nuggets.
....seems likely to be an adventure, regardless the resulting destination ...
Seems the boys forgot some things?...had to turn back....
Amos and Earl had forgotten their new native lady friends!
So back they went, sold the Harley, bought a van...
and invited their girlfriends to join the trip to Texas.
The girls both donned their cowboy hats and cowboy boots.
They thought NADA stood for the New Adventures Dance Academy.
Quote from: PaulineMi on June 14, 2014, 07:09:57 AM
They thought NADA stood for the New Adventures Dance Academy.
(LOLOLOLOLOL....but it does!!!!! LOLOLOLOLOL)
remembering their 'Men In Tights' routine, they should maybe win? ;D
Two men, one wolf and 2 ladies headed to Vegas.
,,but with travel, what about their fish, and fish tanks?
Left in the care of one of the girl's dad.
Goal in Vegas is to search out large fish tanks.
Quote from: Barb on June 16, 2014, 10:42:43 AM
Goal in Vegas is to search out large fish tanks.
they'll lug the tanks to NADA to show some fish
So they'll need to buy some fish along the way...
The girls pointed out a sporting goods store for discus.
Quote from: Barb on June 16, 2014, 10:42:43 AM
Goal in Vegas is to search out large fish tanks.
[/quote
Their plan is to tour large tanks in big casinos!
They are looking especially for tanks with discus and angels.
So, after a long day of looking for discus, angels...
Vegas casinos had none, only saltwater tanks everywhere they looked.
They decided to head to NADA after all, fish awaited!
let's just hope that they have good maps with them...
...because with their broken GPS, they could wind up lost...
..even worse, they just could end up way down south....???
...like down Mexico way, and they're all wanted down there... 8) 8) 8) 8) 8) 8) 8) 8) 8) 8)
But making it to the Amazon they'd find their discus.....
...was that Ron, in 'Ducky' , that just zoomed past them?????
There was a doghouse attached to the rear of Ducky...
Quote from: PaulineMi on June 18, 2014, 08:05:44 PM
There was a doghouse attached to the rear of Ducky...
..was it, was it...???was that Ron waving from it???
Probably...! 8) The doghouse was a cool ride for the Ronster!
Off to NADA they go....those folks just don't know.... ;D
Taking a left at the big old cactus, they continued..
....Then a quick right at the dead coyote laying there...
...the miles piled on they wondered if they erred badly .???
..checking their notes....yep, should been a dead armadillo instead....
...after firing their map reader, they headed off for El Paso...
...they just knew that it was right next to Austin...
Then, nearing Austin, they heard water bubbling in fish tanks....
The next three days were filled with much fishy fun!
Earl was looking at Discus, could he raise them too???
He decided to try it and bought a huge discus...
Only to discover later it was actually a discus cake.....
He dragged out the siphon to clean the "crummy" tank....
After an unsuccessful try at discus, the folks and wolf...
looked at a map, and decided to head off to...
They talked, and drove, and talked, and they got lost...
So lost that they accidentally went south of the border.
Right into Mexico, passing many folks heading north into America.
In a little cafe, just the other side of the....
..border, she was giving him looks that his mouth water..... ;D
After running from Jose Earl headed north of the border
While trying to remember where he had originally been heading.
He remembered, it was The Big Easy, New Orleans LA.
and he knew where that was at...straight up north...
Now completely lost, the gang decided to stop and eat...
Stopping at a diner, they all wanted a big breakfast..
..waiting for the food, they watched a car pull in...
...and it had Louisiana license plates!!..cool, what good fortune
.two long legged blondes emerged and entered the diner door...
Earl instantly recognized the gal in front, she was his...
SISTER!!!!! Now the mystery was where were the beauties heading?
..of course, it was his 'step sister' because he'd always...
..had a thing for her...and was sure she knew.. ;D
When he asked her where she lived and worked, she...
said she was an exotic dancer in a fancy club.
So off to the club they went, another New Orleans detour.
(Is New Orleans considered one word? ::))
They enjoyed the fancy dancers then left for New Orleans.
They followed the dancers convertible, fantasizing as pasty feathers flew....
....out of the car. Drat, they were from road kill.
then they saw it was Lola's boa wrap coming apart...
She stripping in the back seat to get herself cooler... :o
Lola, Earl's sister, was a dancer/ bouncer on Bourbon Street.
Earl and the others followed her car to New Orleans.
The 'Big Easy' was lit up as they approached it...
Earl was getting antsy, they had called ahead for rooms....
Their hotel was on Bourbon Street, next to Lola's club.
First order of business was a good meal of tasty....
Creole shrimp gumbo, They were starved, filthy, and tuckered out...
Having woken up refreshed, they set out to see Lola... 8)
Being holiday time, Lola's club was all decked out with...
Red and green pasties for the girls, and matching tassels..... ;D
And this club even had some male "dancers" wearing just
Rings on there fingers, bells on their toes ho ho..
small red and green male thongs that sparkled quite nicely
Lola tried to lure Earl up on stage to join...
Earl knew better than to fall for her many ploys...
Off in the corner, Earl happened to see that someone...
..was waving him over to them...but who was that???
It's Bozo the Clown, just getting in from the circus.
Good heavens ! oh no ! is that 'Whizzo' next to him???
So Earl had to go over to see for himself.
Oh.....it was actually the one and only Ronald McDonald
Bozo and Ronald were checking out the sparkly men's thongs
Whizzo wondered if thongs would fit over big clown shoes.
Earl said, "I think we're all Bozo's on this bus!"
Dennis
As he stood there with a thong over his head!
And rings on his fingers and bells on his toes
Quote from: PaulineMi on December 02, 2014, 05:26:05 PM
And rings on his fingers and bells on his toes
LOL>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>and a bone in his nose, Ho Ho Ho Ho ... ;D
From out of a dark corner came Ralpho the large..
Ralpho wanted them all to get on a Mississippi riverboat!
AGAIN??? they exclaimed! Not a good idea at this time!
When they got to the boat, it was all aglow...
Their mouths were aghast as they beheld all the lights....
It appeared as tho Santa's sleigh was floating on water......
even reindeer were all bright with colors in the lead......
Earl and friends just had to hop onboard the boat.
As soon as they boarded, they saw a big red...
...nose mounted to the front of the wheel house wall....
... it was bright that it would surely lead their way...... ;D
Standing at the wheel was the old bearded man himself.
He held up his hand and motioned for them to...
...bring him a sandwich.. ;D and a cold stein of beer......
And they brought him a potato chip and ketchup sandwich
When he looked at it he sighed and then said....
Now all I need is a big glass of cold...
Brewski....preferably a craft beer in a tall chilled mug.
..now the Capt'n was in heaven...t'was his favorite sandwich... ;D
...While eating, and watching, down the river, he suddenly noticed....??????
a small boat in the way of his big boat.
And in the small boat he saw an amazing sight.
Through the dim light, it almost looked like an orgy..???
..but as they drew ever closer, they were fighting over...???
....a large jug of moon shine..and a huge pizza....???????
And guess who was holding the jug of moon shine?
..why it was...?? couldn't be..??..no way ??? how the hell????
Wearing a Santa hat and green boa, it was Lola!
Quote from: Barb on December 23, 2014, 05:59:43 PM
Wearing a Santa hat and green boa, it was Lola!
....With rings on her fingers, and bells on her toes....
Quote from: Mugwump on December 23, 2014, 06:03:55 PM
Quote from: Barb on December 23, 2014, 05:59:43 PM
Wearing a Santa hat and green boa, it was Lola!
....With rings on her fingers, and bells on her toes....
Ho Ho Ho Ho Ho Ho Ho Ho Ho Ho ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D
Lola saw Earl and his friends and she waved happily.
While waving and holding the moonshine she fell drunkenly overboard.
Earl ran from the steering house, and dove in without....
removing his heavy leather work boots, leather jacket, and glasses.
as he slowly started sinking, as he tried to swim...
..he thought, what a dummy...and began shucking his clothes...
..as he recovered and popped to the surface, very confused...
Wearing only his boxers, he saw he was all alone...
No Lola, no friends, no boat, just lots of water.
In the darkness, Earl started swimming, and then he saw...
something silver, round, floating on the water, with strange lights.
He wondered if he was hallucinating ??...was that a UFO??
On top of it, there was a little" being" standing.
And it started moving his way, Earl was very scared.
He closed his eyes and wished the thing away...but??
..but the little being offered Earl his hand to help.... ???
..Earl reached and clasped the small hand....it was warm...
..suddenly Earl found himself on top the small craft.....bewildered???????
Within seconds, Earl was inside the strange silver metallic "thing".
Scared and curious he looked around and he saw little...
creatures with big heads, huge dark eyes and tiny bodies.
They all came to surround Earl, and then he noticed...
...that they were smiling and they didn't really look menacing....
...with a sigh of relief, he slowly extended his hand...
...one of the aliens grasped it firmly in greeting him.....
...swung him around and smashed him on the floor, killing him...
...almost. But they were still smiling while standing over him.
He soon learned this was their way of greeting friends.
"Wierd", he thought. I can't afford many friends like them.
As Earl tried to stand up, he realized that the...
craft was lifting off the water and heading straight up.
Earl was now in a spacecraft with aliens headed towards...
who knew where. He needed help from his forum friends.
....then he saw it..it was a giant mother ship...
...he saw little people waving at the ship...friendly waves... ???
It was about this moment that poor Earl realized that....
he shouldn't have eaten those yummy mushrooms that he picked....
....how in the world would he explain this whole thing...
...to the others??..after all..they'd all eaten them too..
...sheesh...for all he knew..they could be the aliens?..
Earl shook his head hard, closed his eyes then he...
heard a loud noise, and opened his eyes to see...
...Bob Denver??....oh no, he was on Gilligan's Island now???
...now he really knew he hadn't come off his 'trip' ??
...gathering his composure, he grabbed a 'brownie' and tried again...
...starting to become alert now, he looked around...and why??.........
...was he holding a 'brownie'....??...tossing it overboard, he turned....
....around and looked...a sudden noise, and then he saw....???
...and then...and then...and then.....and then...and then..
Earl finally felt the huge bump on his head where...
he had hit it when he went into the water.
But he wondered what was that hard in the water.
Quote from: Barb on January 24, 2015, 12:53:21 PM
But he wondered what was that hard in the water.
It was a chest that was floating in the water.....
''What?!'', he said. I thought it was just hard water!
but wait....what is that inscribed in the chest lid???
It shows lots of 1's and 0's, an alien story?
..a very strange looking lock is on the gold hasp....
There is no keyhole, no apparent way to open it.
..but wait...the lock has four little flashing colored lights ....
...it must be an electronic key pad of some sort...???
Earl started pushing on the colored lights in different patterns.
It blinked and blinked, then stopped...a hum was heard....??
slowly, ever so slowly, he reached to open the chest...
The lid creaked open, and inside he saw something exciting.
It was a large and smooth rock, with lots of...
what looked like writing and pictures carved in the stone.
Quote from: Barb on November 21, 2015, 11:40:40 AM
what looked like writing and pictures carved in the stone.
Good grief !!..he muttered...this is the mythical Mississippi stone.... :o :o :o :o :o :o :o :o :o
Earl decides to take it to his friend Mississippi Liz.
Quote from: Barb on November 21, 2015, 06:09:00 PM
Earl decides to take it to his friend Mississippi Liz.
LLOLOLOLOLOLOL...ROTFLMAO......+1.... |^|
Whereupon she began to decipher the unusual markings. They said....
...all kinds of unmentionable things but they found it hilarious.
Liz searched her bag for the needed magic potion ...
..after partaking the needed potion, all became most crystal clear... ;D
The writing on the stone said that the world would
soon be overcome by something new and most people would...
be a better place and because of it would rejoice..
...but could it be??...it was written in North Pole-se.... huh
..only a handful of people even write the ancient language...
..a bunch of small elves, who were thought extinct....and..
Then suddenly while reading the text..*poof*..a flash... huh
...he opened his eyes to see everyone covered in snow... w!w
...where were they?...a plow went by, fast...plowing snow...
..there was writing on the truck door...Washington DC..... huh huh huh huh huh huh
How? why? were they here now....they needed coats badly... wfwf
With new jackets, hats, boots and gloves, they started walking.
Earl noticed a huge red brick building with large lettering...
a place he had always wanted to see, Smithsonian Institution.
Quote from: Barb on January 24, 2016, 03:55:04 PM
a place he had always wanted to see, Smithsonian Institution.
...strange tho, he thought, it's mid-day and it's closed up...?
....approaching the door tho, they discovered it to be open... huh
...they peeked inside, seeing no one, they decided to enter.....
what a wonderful sight, a grand room opening to exhibits... |^|
Earl could hardly believe his eyes, there before them stood...
...a huge, brightly lit, revolving and colorful, thing of wonder.
What in the world are they seeing?...was this from..?
..suddenly a feeling came over Earl..'go home for Christmas' !!!!!!
...all the adventures, dangers, and thrills made him suddenly realize....
..he missed home and especially around the joyous Holiday season... |^|
..did you know that Earl was spotted attending Cub's games? huh |^| huh
And guess who was sitting next to him, eating a...
....actually it was my oldest son Michael eating one too..... 8)
Giant hot dog loaded with lots of the best new...
....kraut...a very tasty dawg....Earl's suddenly gone now wtf
Mike saw him down talking with the the ball girl and...... huh
She was wearing a shirt with an angelfish on it.
He was very sad just found out Harry Was gone
Earl loved baseball, and the Cubs...the ballgirl was an....
old lady who had played baseball as a young girl.
She was Harry's next door neighbor from his old homeplace.
Harry was from St Louis....along the Mississippi near Earl's
.. mishap...perhaps that held a clue to the river chest..... huh
...but no matter now, the trunk was gone, lost forever...
...now Earl needed to find the rest of his bunch....... huh
He decided to put an ad in the local paper.
Asking any of his missing group to meet at the...
Quote from: Barb on July 08, 2017, 04:23:01 PM
Asking any of his missing group to meet at the...
'Billy Goat' tavern...they can have cheese burgers and Pepsi..... :D
Coke no Pepsi
Quote from: Tony44 on July 08, 2017, 06:09:50 PM
Coke no Pepsi
yup....
.. remember you have to have 10 words exactly to play..... |^|
Coke, no Pepsi, was the standing rule of the day...
....Earl was homesick and decided to go back home now...
...and on his way he rode a big cow, now!...
...so the long trip begins anew..now?,,bus?...train?.. car?...... huh
..he's hoping that Amos is still in the Teton mtn's...
Earl chose train, and hopped into a large, empty, boxcar.
Who should he see sitting in a corner but his...
...old friend, who he thought had died years ago in...
..a very old retired mountain guide named 'trail sniffer Wally
Wally and Earl headed west by train to Wyoming's Tetons.
As the train entered the Midwest, another man jumped aboard.
...It was that goofy, most always lost mountain guide......Amos
Earl was last seen decorating his Christmas tree in a warm cabin overlooking a snowy mountain pass.......alone
Quote from: Mugwump on December 17, 2017, 08:36:02 AM
Earl was last seen decorating his Christmas tree in a warm cabin overlooking a snowy mountain pass.......alone
HEY!...that's more than 10 words...!!!
Quote from: Ron Sower on December 17, 2017, 08:42:39 AM
Quote from: Mugwump on December 17, 2017, 08:36:02 AM
Earl was last seen decorating his Christmas tree in a warm cabin overlooking a snowy mountain pass.......alone
HEY!...that's more than 10 words...!!!
....just an update, that's all..a peaceful Christmas for Earl..... :)
Quote from: Mugwump on December 17, 2017, 08:55:44 AM
Quote from: Ron Sower on December 17, 2017, 08:42:39 AM
Quote from: Mugwump on December 17, 2017, 08:36:02 AM
Earl was last seen decorating his Christmas tree in a warm cabin overlooking a snowy mountain pass.......alone
HEY!...that's more than 10 words...!!!
....just an update, that's all..a peaceful Christmas for Earl..... :)
|^|
...the last communique from Earl said he's in San Antonio...
Earl awoke and realized that he really missed being home.... huh
He longed for companionship, home and a new interesting job.
..but he wondered where would home be for him now huh
...so he planned a quick trip to the North Pole...
..he liked the elves, and really liked Mrs. Claus's cooking ;-)
..he figured no matter where he was...just head north huh
,,,and so it began...the journey to find Santa Claus...
....he had his car fixed and headed towards for Canada...
When he got to the Canadian border Customs pulled him ...
the smell of a joint still lingered in his car...... wfwf
...but he'd flushed his stash at the last gas stop... :D
..the border German Shepherd drug dogs picked up the smell...
..but now on his way again, he was very hungry... |eat|
Earl awoke in the backseat of his car, in pain.
He looked out the window and saw a large animal.
Through the open window a hairy paw grabbed his shoulder.
Earl thought 'where am I' as he turned carefully around... huh
Somehow Earl had gotten into a zoo while being lost.
...Actually he found out it was an African game preserve..... ???
The gorilla let go of him when a jeep appeared.
...Earl looking worse for wear..... got fed with the apes... :D
He asked the men to take him to their camp.
It was a long walk before they reached the seashore
At the beach they all boarded an old rusty boat.
They rowed around a bend and an island suddenly appeared huh
Heading for the island, the boatload of men saw fire.
..it looked like an encampment of some sort....big fire huh
Dragging the boat ashore, they saw a very unusual sight.
..it looked like a festival?...food, music, dancing, and sacrifices ??? wfwf
And who should Earl see but his long lost friend.
Drink in one hand, meat in the other, and a......
Well good grief it was Amos the always lost guide... huh
..slowly walking towards Amos he grinned that mountain man grin..... ;D
They bear hugged, laughed, cussed, and began to tell tales...
... only thing missing was bear stew...campfire beans worked tho
the evening had a putrid air as they talked away.... ;D
Earl and Amos finally hatched a new plan of adventure.
Amos had an old beat up truck parked near by.
..if they can get the gas cans filled somewhere now..
..there's a road on the east side of the island....?
..perhaps at low tide they can cross off the island ?
Amos knew the way off the island, but was anxious.
Several dangers stood in their way back to the mainland.
..for 1), the old truck still needed some more gas.... huh
.....will the truck start after Amos left the radio on
..well they got lucky..the truck started right back up... :D
Looking out to sea, they saw a huge, terrifying sight.
Black storm clouds, huge bolts of lightening and gigantic waves.
They didn't have much time so they loaded up fast....
..thankfully the truck started up again..so off they went...
..now...how far could they get with their gas supply?
.. tide was low, this was their chance to get going....
Amos, Earl, and a pet monkey sped across the sandbar.
....making it across was easier than it had looked earlier....
..the came to an unmarked paved road and sped off....
Leaving the storm behind they headed down the strange road.
Up ahead they came to an old building, apparently abandoned.
But as they approached, a faint light was turned on.
..so some how they had tripped the backyard flood lights.....?
..or so they thought....they now heard voices and music ?
A face peered out one window upstairs, then disappeared quickly.
Earl, Amos and their monkey approached the door, feeling hungry.
...they could hear more people as they slowly drew closer
..It was a big party!!!...a lady came out outside...
...seeing they she waved..."come on inside..there's some food"
Hungrily, they went inside, only to find a room full...
of the most amazing foods and drinks they really needed.
But next to a big window stood a very strange...
....'Cigar store Indian' holding cigars...why was it even there ?
Then they noticed everyone in the room was smoking cigars.... huh
...so they each grabbed a cigar and fired it up...
Another strange thing was that they were all drinking champagne ... huh
...but they were really hungry so off to the buffet... :)
....they had fallen asleep in a corner of the room..
...now waking up they found the whole room completely empty ....?
...still groggy, they searched the house for looking for anyone....
...was all this a mirage?... outside the window they saw....
a big bus, full of the party people, heading off.
Earl, Amos and the monkey had the house to themselves.
Should they stay awhile or head down the dusty road?
,,,with food left, they decided to chow and chill awhile...
After a nap, they awoke to a scream from upstairs.
Running upstairs Amos and Earl found an old lady with...
..a shotgun getting ready to shoot a tiny little mouse.... :o
... they shooed the mouse off through a tiny little door
..but strangely the mouse was muttering 'I'm late'..'I'm late'..... huh
With the mouse gone, Amos and Earl and their monkey...
said farewell to the house and lady who lived there.
The old truck roared to life as the men left.
...down the road they went still not knowing where yet... huh
..it seemed like hours of road and no signs whatsoever....
..suddenly far off in the distance they saw a billboard.... :)
...as they got nearer the billboard they strained their eyes... huh
On it: WANTED, STRONG BRAVE MEN for dangerous exciting work.
Grinning at each other they wrote down the phone number.
... they just need to find a phone somewhere out there
Several more miles down they road they see another sign.
It is an old gas station, with an old payphone.
...first of all...do they have any change with them huh
....and does the old pay phone even work at all... huh
,,,upon drawing closer to the gas station they see someone
A grizzled, bent over, elderly man approached the old truck.
Earl asked him if the pay phone worked any more.
"No, but this newfangled thing I have sure makes calls."
He handed Earl his new smartphone to make his call.
..now he wondered if he remembered the number to call.... huh
Surprisingly, Amos had written down the phone number and their....
pet monkey held the paper in his furry little hand.
...and now to see if she is home to answer?
The phone call was answered by a happy-sounding lady.
Earl asked about the job he and Amos saw advertised.
..she said 'yes' the job was still open....'cod fishing'
Earl and Amos survived two months of dangerous cod fishing.
With good money in their pockets they wanted new jobs.
...so they bought a car and packed all their gear..... huh
They had decided to head toward Montana or Wyoming mountains.
Their pet monkey had a new home, replaced with a...
...GSD puppy... all black female they found along the road :)
Quote from: Mugwump on January 28, 2020, 10:12:28 AM
...GSD puppy... all black female they found along the road :)
.. they decided to name her, 'Teton' after their mountain destination..
The three of them headed off to Jackson Hole Wyoming.
What a fun ride...singing with the radio and laughing
..Little 'Teton' even joined in doing a mini-howl .. :)..fun times.. :)
They found a cabin back in the mountains and decided to self quarantine there......... |^| :) |^|
Now to decide how to keep busy doing something useful.
During hard times they wanted to make the most of time....
What could they do to help others who needed it?
..there was a rifle rack on the cabin back wall
They would hunt for meat, fowl in the neighboring forest...
...fish the many lakes and the streams that surrounded them....
..then donate all they did not need down in town :)...
Earl and da gang got a real nice buck today |^|
They, also, got a few rabbits hunting with long bows
While in town making the first of their many donations,
...Earl and Amos heard that their good friend Jon Miller...
had passed on into the great and beautiful land beyond.
They decided to make all their food donations, in future....
in honor of their late friend Jon, loved by many.
And so my friends, ends the Epic Tale of Earl.
....saying " ...Wow! What a ride!?"