For Ron....

[Mugwump]

 A scientist studying porpoises, primarily their language, realized that his porpoises seem to live longer, fed a diet of seagulls and nothing else.

With that in mind he got his gunny sack and headed to the beach to collect seagulls

Arriving at the beach he noticed a flock of seagulls at the end of the narrow peninsula of sand. He headed out on the peninsula and busied himself snatching up gulls and stuffing them in his bag.

With his bag filled he turned to exit the peninsula. Unknown to him a lion that had escaped from the state fair was lying in the sand at the base of the peninsula thereby blocking his retreat.

Of course the sciences first reaction, WTF! Was followed by a plan. The lion seemed to be sleeping so he tiptoed up and stepped over the lion as quietly as he could.

At that moment a police officer standing nearby slapped the cuffs on the scientists and said "you're under arrest" the scientists quick reply was what ever for!

Transporting gulls across a State Lion for immortal porpoises

[Mugwump]

The new bus driver for the Sesame Street Elementary School for Exceptional Children was a bit nervous his first day on the job. Clutching the map and the list of names he'd been provided with, the driver made his way to the first stop, where a very fat little girl boarded the bus. "Hi," she said, "My name is Patty." The driver tried to return her smile as she took a seat.

At the next stop, an extremely fat little girl got on. The driver managed a weak smile when she said, "Hi, my name's Patty," and waddled to a seat.

Next was a little boy sporting thick glasses, crutches, and a safety helmet. His list informed the driver that this was "Special" Ross, and he helped the little boy up the stairs and into a seat.

The last child to be picked up was a boy named Lester T., and to the driver's relief he appeared perfectly normal. Accelerating, he was near the school when a strange smell came over the bus. Looking in his rearview mirror, the driver saw that Lester had his socks and shoes off and was picking at bunions on his feet. Totally grossed out, the driver lost control and crashed into a guard rail.

The police were quickly on the scene. Ascertaining that no one had been hurt, they turned to the bus driver & asked what the hell had come over him.

"Well, wouldn't you go crazy?" asked the bus driver indignantly. "It's not even 9:00 and I've had two obese Pattys, Special Ross, Lester T. picking bunions on a Sesame Street bus!"

[Ron Sower]

They would definitely be Trotterisms and thereby receive..................
Groaner designations!! 

Groan......!