random stuff

[PaulineMi]

That is unbelievable!!! Wow!

[LizStreithorst]

wow.

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uh oh........................................................?

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[Mugwump]

On the first day of school, the children brought gifts for their teacher.

The supermarket manager's daughter brought the teacher a basket of assorted fruit.

The florist's son brought the teacher a bouquet of flowers.

The candy-store owner's daughter gave the teacher a pretty box of candy.

Then the liquor-store owner's son brought up a big, heavy box. The teacher lifted it up and noticed that it was leaking a little bit..

She touched a drop of the liquid with her finger and tasted it.

"Is it wine?" she guessed. "No," the boy replied.

She tasted another drop and asked, "Champagne?"


"No," said the little boy.............




"It's a puppy!"

[LizStreithorst]

That might be the funniest joke I've ever read.  I must be sick in the head.

[Mugwump]

That might be the funniest joke I've ever read.  I must be sick in the head.

LOL..it got a giggle/snort from me too....

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[Mugwump]

My new job
Jennifer, a manager at Wal-Mart had the task of
hiring someone to fill a job opening.After sorting
through a stack of 20 resumes she found four people
who were equally qualified.Jennifer decided to call the
the four in and ask them only one question. Their answer
would determine which of them would get the job.

The day came and as the four sat around the
conference room table, Jennifer asked, 'What is the
fastest thing you know of?

The first man replied, 'A THOUGHT'. It
just pops into your head. There's no warning.
'That's very good!' replied Jennifer.

'And, now you sir?', she asked the second man.
'Hmmm ...let me see 'A blink'! It comes
and goes and you don't know that it ever happened
....
A
BLINK is the fastest thing I know
of.'
'Excellent!' said Jennifer. 'The blink of
an eye, that's a very popular cliche for speed.'

She thenturned to the third man, who was
contemplating his reply. 'Well, out at my
dad's ranch, you step out of the
house and on the wall there's a light switch. When
you flip that switch,way out across the pasture
the light on the barn comes on in less than an
instant. 'Yip, TURNING ON A LIGHT is the fastest thing I
can think of.'Jennifer
was very impressed with the third answer and thought she had
found her man.'It's hard to beat the speed of light,' she
said.
Turning to Mike, the fourth and final
man, Jennifer posed the same question.Old Louie replied,
'After hearing theprevious three answers, it's obvious to
me that the fastest thing known is DIARRHEA.'
'WHAT!?' said Jennifer, stunned by theresponse
....
'Oh sure', said Louie. 'You see, the other
day I wasn't feeling so good, and I ran for the
bathroom,but before I
could THINK, BLINK, or TURN ON THELIGHT,
I had already shit in my pants.'

He is now the new greeter at the Wal-Mart
near you!

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[PaulineMi]

Oh...now I get it.  Coffee kicked in.   

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[LizStreithorst]

If I could do that I'd enjoy is as much as he does.

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