• Welcome to Mugwump's Fish World.
 

News:

I increased the "User online time threshold" today (11/29/2023) so maybe you won't lose so many posts.   Everything is up-to-date and running smoothly. Shoot me a message if you have any comments - Dennis

Main Menu
Welcome to Mugwump's Fish World. Please login.

March 29, 2024, 07:44:45 AM

Login with username, password and session length

Stats
  • Total Posts: 127,251
  • Total Topics: 18,511
  • Online today: 155
  • Online ever: 787
  • (January 22, 2020, 01:11:59 PM)
Users Online
Users: 0
Guests: 141
Total: 141

random stuff

Started by Mugwump, January 07, 2013, 02:08:10 PM

Previous topic - Next topic

Mugwump

Jon

?Life should not be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in a pretty and well preserved body, but rather to skid in broadside in a cloud of smoke, thoroughly used up, totally worn out, and loudly proclaiming ?Wow! What a Ride!? ~ Hunter S. Thompson

Mugwump

Jon

?Life should not be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in a pretty and well preserved body, but rather to skid in broadside in a cloud of smoke, thoroughly used up, totally worn out, and loudly proclaiming ?Wow! What a Ride!? ~ Hunter S. Thompson

Mugwump

Jon

?Life should not be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in a pretty and well preserved body, but rather to skid in broadside in a cloud of smoke, thoroughly used up, totally worn out, and loudly proclaiming ?Wow! What a Ride!? ~ Hunter S. Thompson

Mugwump

Jon

?Life should not be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in a pretty and well preserved body, but rather to skid in broadside in a cloud of smoke, thoroughly used up, totally worn out, and loudly proclaiming ?Wow! What a Ride!? ~ Hunter S. Thompson

Mugwump

Jon

?Life should not be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in a pretty and well preserved body, but rather to skid in broadside in a cloud of smoke, thoroughly used up, totally worn out, and loudly proclaiming ?Wow! What a Ride!? ~ Hunter S. Thompson

Mugwump


A woman decides to have a face lift for her 50th birthday.

She spends $15,000 and feels pretty good about the results.

On her way home, she stops at a news stand to buy a newspaper.

Before leaving, she says to the clerk,

'I hope you don't mind my asking, but how old do you think I am?".



'About 32,' is the reply.'



'Nope! I'm exactly 50,' the woman says happily.



A little while later she goes into McDonald's and asks the counter girl the very same question.

The girl replies, 'I'd guess about 29.'

The woman replies with a big smile, 'Nope, I'm 50.'



Now she's feeling really good about herself.

She stops at a candy shop on her way down the street.

She goes up to the counter to get some mints and asks the assistant the same burning question.



The clerk responds, 'Oh, I'd say 30.'



Again she proudly responds, 'I'm 50, but thank you!'



While waiting for the bus to go home, she asks an old man waiting next to her the same question.



He replies, 'Lady, I'm 78 and my eyesight is going.

Although, when I was young there was a sure-fire way to tell how old a woman was.

It sounds very forward, but it requires you to let me put my hands under your bra.

Then, and only then I can tell you EXACTLY how old you are.'



They wait in silence on the empty street until her curiosity gets the better of her.



She finally blurts out, 'What the hell, go ahead.'



He slips both of his hands under her blouse and begins to feel around very slowly and carefully.

He bounces and weighs each breast and he gently pinches each nipple.

He pushes her breasts together and rubs them against each other.



After a couple of minutes of this, she says, 'Okay, okay...How old am I?'



He completes one last squeeze of her breasts, removes his hands, and says,

'Madam, you are 50.'



Stunned and amazed, the woman says, 'That was incredible, how could you tell?'



'I was behind you at McDonalds'
Jon

?Life should not be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in a pretty and well preserved body, but rather to skid in broadside in a cloud of smoke, thoroughly used up, totally worn out, and loudly proclaiming ?Wow! What a Ride!? ~ Hunter S. Thompson

wallace

Quote from: Mugwump on April 20, 2018, 06:15:51 PM


I'm trying to remember what movie this is from... can anybody help me out?
Dan

Mugwump

Jon

?Life should not be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in a pretty and well preserved body, but rather to skid in broadside in a cloud of smoke, thoroughly used up, totally worn out, and loudly proclaiming ?Wow! What a Ride!? ~ Hunter S. Thompson

Mugwump

Jon

?Life should not be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in a pretty and well preserved body, but rather to skid in broadside in a cloud of smoke, thoroughly used up, totally worn out, and loudly proclaiming ?Wow! What a Ride!? ~ Hunter S. Thompson

Mugwump



The Bounds of the Intellect, 1927, Paul Klee
Jon

?Life should not be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in a pretty and well preserved body, but rather to skid in broadside in a cloud of smoke, thoroughly used up, totally worn out, and loudly proclaiming ?Wow! What a Ride!? ~ Hunter S. Thompson

Mugwump

Jon

?Life should not be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in a pretty and well preserved body, but rather to skid in broadside in a cloud of smoke, thoroughly used up, totally worn out, and loudly proclaiming ?Wow! What a Ride!? ~ Hunter S. Thompson

Mugwump

Jon

?Life should not be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in a pretty and well preserved body, but rather to skid in broadside in a cloud of smoke, thoroughly used up, totally worn out, and loudly proclaiming ?Wow! What a Ride!? ~ Hunter S. Thompson

Mugwump

Jon

?Life should not be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in a pretty and well preserved body, but rather to skid in broadside in a cloud of smoke, thoroughly used up, totally worn out, and loudly proclaiming ?Wow! What a Ride!? ~ Hunter S. Thompson

Mugwump

Jon

?Life should not be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in a pretty and well preserved body, but rather to skid in broadside in a cloud of smoke, thoroughly used up, totally worn out, and loudly proclaiming ?Wow! What a Ride!? ~ Hunter S. Thompson

Mugwump

Jon

?Life should not be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in a pretty and well preserved body, but rather to skid in broadside in a cloud of smoke, thoroughly used up, totally worn out, and loudly proclaiming ?Wow! What a Ride!? ~ Hunter S. Thompson