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Halloween Groaners

Started by Mugwump, October 10, 2013, 12:21:47 PM

Previous topic - Next topic

Mugwump

Some Halloween Groaners ........

Getting Close To That Time .......

Q. Why should a skeleton drink 10 glasses of milk a day?
A. It's good for the bones.

Q. Why don't witches like to ride their brooms when they're angry?
A. They're afraid of flying off the handle!

Q. Who did Frankenstein take to the prom?
A. His ghoul friend.
Q. Why don't skeletons like parties?
A. They have no body to dance with.

Q. Why do vampires drink blood?
A. Because coffee keeps them awake all day!

Q. Why was the student vampire tired in the morning?
A. Because he was up all night studying for his blood test!!!

Q. Why doesn't Dracula have any friends?
A. Because he's a pain in the neck!

Q. Why did the mummy call the doctor?
A. Because he was coffin.

Q. Why did the ghost go to the doctor?
A. To get his boo-ster shot?

Q. Why do mummies make excellent spies?
A. They're good at keeping things under wraps.
Q. Why are there fences around cemeteries?
A. Because people are dying to get in.

Q. Where does Dracula water ski?
A. On Lake Erie

Q. Where does Count Dracula make his withdrawals?
A. At the blood bank.

Q. What was the witches' favorite subject in school?
A. Spelling
Q. When does a ghost need a license?
A. During "haunting" season.

Q. What's a haunted chicken?
A. A poultry-geist.

Q. What would you call the ghost of a door-to-door salesman?
A. A dead ringer.

Q. What do little ghosts drink?
A. Evaporated milk.

Q. What type of coffee do vampires prefer?
A. Decoffinated!

Q. What time would it be if five demons were chasing you?
A. Five after one.

Q. What kind of mistakes do spooks make?
A. Boo boos

Q. What do ghosts serve for dessert?
A. Ice Scream

Q. What kind of boat pulls Dracula when he water skis?
A. A blood vessel

Q. How did the ghost patch his sheet?
A. With a pumpkin patch.

Q. What did the Mommy ghost say to the baby ghost?
A. Don't spook until your spooken to.

Q. What did the Mommy Vampire say to the Baby Vampire?
A. "You are driving me batty."

Q. What did the monster eat after the dentist pulled his tooth?
A. The dentist!

Q. What do ghouls order at McMonsters?
A. Handburgers.

Q. What do spooks call their Navy?
A. The ghost guard.

Q. What do you get when you drop a pumpkin?
A. Squash

Q. Why do cemeteries have fences around them?
A. Because people are dying to get in.

Q. Why do witches think they're funny?
A. Every time they look in the mirror, it cracks up.

Q. Why did the tiny ghost join the football squad?
A. He had heard that they needed a little team spirit !

Q. Why don't skeletons like to eat spicy food?
A. They can't stomach it!

Jon

?Life should not be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in a pretty and well preserved body, but rather to skid in broadside in a cloud of smoke, thoroughly used up, totally worn out, and loudly proclaiming ?Wow! What a Ride!? ~ Hunter S. Thompson